


If What is Lost

by FoolocracyFunForFools



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen, It is very dark, THIS IS A POEM, about a person after a trauma, has a kinda happy ending though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-21 12:00:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30021438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FoolocracyFunForFools/pseuds/FoolocracyFunForFools
Summary: *nervous chuckle* soo what did yah think? please let me know! i hope it wasnt too stupid or anything.BY-BY ;D





	If What is Lost

RATED T FOR A REASON  
This might also apply to PTSD characters. But I don't have PTSD so I couldn't say. I hope you all enjoy and please review!

**If what is lost can be found, then can what be found still somehow remain lost?**

If you are rescued and taken to where it is safe is your mind taken to where it is safe too?

Or is it left behind separated from your body

Is it plagued by memories, whispers of what has happened and what could still be happening?

hauntingly familiar voices taunting, daring you to believe that the safety that you feel is real

But is it?

Or is it another hallucination

A dream concocted by your traumatized mind trying to shield you from the horror you face

Are you ever really safe?

Or is safety an illusion

A false feeling that your mind creates when it can't face the horror and distrust that you are dealing with

Can you ever really be free?

From the faces, the experiences, the color, the noise or the lack there of except for the distorted voice of your own pained cries

or the feelings of torment which always seems to linger just at the edge of your mind

How safe is the feeling of safety when your mind screams danger at every little noise?

Your face twitches in anticipation of being slapped when your friend gets mad and raises their voice

You try to rest but rest is for those who feel safe and secure in their own body

In their own mind

Sleep is for those who are fortunate enough to never have to face what you have faced

You try and you struggle to get away from the pain and the horror

But who can save you from your own mind?

You're stuck in that place which you so desperately long to forget but your mind starts to call that place home

And you start to scare yourself wondering if you really are free, if your family isn't fake and all in your mind

You jump when touched ever so slightly so afraid that the touch will be filled once again with that unbearable pain

Unbearable

You laugh when someone uses that word

Like they even know what unbearable feels like

You know what It feels like and you wish to heaven you didn't

You wish you couldn't hear your own screams echoing through your ears at night

The taste of your own blood saturating your tongue in its metallic anguish

Sweat sliding off your face at any random time of the day or night because of the wind, a creaking door, a tap, a quiet noise has you on the edge

And your body struggles to breath as you wait, eyes wide open and afraid of your tormentor coming around that corner, or through that door

You shut your eyes and open them to reveal nothing but a never-ending void of emptiness

Unbearable

Is when your mind is exploding with things you can't control

The flashes of a nightmarish dream that only you can see

Your face screwing up in anguish and your back arching involuntarily

As you could swear that the pain you that feel is being inflicted upon you right now

And not just a ghost feeling of all the torment that you endured

The ugly screeching sounds only you can hear echoing distorted

Voices

Giving you advice and commenting on your worthlessness throughout the long day

You know they aren't real

They can't be

If they were that would mean that you were still there

Still trapped, still going through every little disgusting thing that you went through

But is the alternative any better?

If you really are safe, then your mind is gone

Your body was saved but your mind is losing its grip on reality

What you have faced has broken you, cracked you

Left you wondering if you would have been better off in captivity

Your body is healing but who else, but you truly know if your mind is mending

You try and pretend to be fine, to not be damaged

After all they can't call you crazy and lock you up

if they don't know what it is that you go through

Every single horrifying day

So, you lock it up inside like a monster in a cage

It works and everyone thinks you're fine

Fools that they are

So, blinded by their want of you being back to normal they miss the obvious signs

That you're not okay

That word, okay

You start to chuckle again

If someone asked you if you were okay

You wouldn't even be able to define the word

Let alone label yourself as being okay

Every cage can only hold for so long

And every monster eventually breaks free

Yours did

It roared gnashing its fiery fangs together and it almost swallowed you whole

Months later you almost feel like you felt before you were buried alive in nightmares

The monster reared its head and the people closest to you saw it and screamed in fear

It took the monster breaking free for people to finally see that you were not okay

That you were actually even worse now then you were then

But you finally got the help you needed

The help you deserved and longed for so speedily

So, it all worked out in the end

Your still not okay

But you don't want to be okay

You cant be something that you won't ever feel like again

The voices have lessened but still pop up from time to time

All of the images have stopped, and you can actually sleep

instead of waiting up all night terrified of what would come for you

yes, everything has worked out pretty well

but the answer to the question that was asked still avoids you

and the question lingers in your mind

not quite hidden but not out on display

who can honestly know the answer to the question?

is it even a question or is it just nonsense

is the question genius or a product of stupidity?

do you know?

**If what is lost can be found, then can what be found still somehow remain lost?**

**Author's Note:**

> *nervous chuckle* soo what did yah think? please let me know! i hope it wasnt too stupid or anything.  
> BY-BY ;D


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